Rain From The Past 2: Suicide

The first time I remember crying in front of another guy, was way back in 2002. In fact, he cried too. And so did our third and final companion.

We were in the park, all three of us, sitting under a little pavilion. And he had just told us he wanted to commit suicide, because the pain from his break up was unbearable.

The tears... just flowed, from some hidden well within. I was both crushed and furious, and the mix of emotions set me off.

Crushed, because I could empathize with the pain he felt. He and I share many a similar perspective on relationships, and I would be lying if I said that over the last few months I would have done anything different from what he did. He had tried his best, but simply couldn't make it last, and the pain had wrecked him.

But furious too, because he was important to me. I had looked up to him for so many things, and I still do today. And I hated the way he forgot that there are other things worth living for in this life, that we cannot base our entire existence over one partner in life, that there are other friends who need him too.

And so we cried, the three of us. We just let it go, and through the heaving and the tissues and the mucus we managed to remind him that there was more to life, no matter how dark and foreboding the future seemed.

He got better. He picked up the pieces and slowly stitched back a meaningful life. I’m proud of him, quite quite proud. I'm glad I didn't scoff at his fears or ridicule them, that day.