Easy Way Out

A few years back, I underwent one of the most grueling, challenging camps ever. We called it Council Camp, the rite of initiation into the Students' Council.

The camp was designed to push us to our physical and mental limits, with the underlying philosophy that adversity would bond us all. It was a roaring success. And although I can't really say much else about it here, one lesson from the camp has stuck very hard for me.

And that lesson is, the best lessons are often the toughest lessons.

This exams period, I've had the opportunity to reflect on the years since I left JC. I took a piece of paper, drew big squares to signify every year since secondary school, and basically recounted the things I had learnt in each year.

Not academic things like Pythagoras' Thoerem, or how to detect / uncover a minefield, or how I would structure SMU's Law Degree Program. The life things, the things I had learned about myself, about my relationship with the world, about the people I live with and love.

And I wasn't surprised that the years in which I learnt the most, were also the relatively more painful, angst-ridden years.

It's what most people refer to as the comfort zone. When one is content with life, at peace with the world, inevitably one also becomes a little less striving, less exploratory. I must emphasise here, this is not a bad thing! It is a sublime blessing for one to be at peace with the world, and that feeling is an elusive sparrow that defies even the most dedicated of hunters.

But at 22, an age when I’m supposed to be growing to my full potential, it may not be the best thing for me now.

This current exams period, my usual stress levels were happily quadrupled when I left my comfort zone behind. It happened when I opened my eyes and started thinking, "Where am I in life?"

I reflected upon how I had grown (or not grown) since Law School started 2 years (!) back. I thought about the upcoming exchange year, where I would be quite removed from the friends I draw sustenance from, trying my best to survive in an unfamiliar country.

I freed my insecurities from the cupboard and allowed them to run rampant through the house, as I observed how they had changed during the past year. I also reassessed just how much I impacted the world, what difference it made to the people around me if I continued existing.

Some of you would ask, why think about all this now, just before the exams? Why not wait until after? Well, the answer is two-fold. One, that life often thrusts things upon you, and two, the best lessons are often the toughest lessons.

See, it’s Council Camp working its magic, its long tendrils (yes it was that monstrous) reaching through the years to remind me of the lesson I learnt then. If you have the choice, never, ever pray for the easy way out of things.

The easy way robs you of that opportunity, that chance to learn something. The easy way is less painful, less probing, but it is also less enriching.

Adversity’s such a funny creature, isn’t it.