Yet Another 16th Poem

It's not easy, this reconditioning
Especially with a heart that's meandering
To force myself to live life anew
Old habits I now have to eschew

It's almost like the old me of past
Is embarking on an emotional fast
With the new me always around to say
'You now have to live life this way'

'How can I,' the old me rages
'See your emails on my webpages
And forget that when once I would be delirious
Now I must act completly oblivious?'

'Hear your voice once in a while
And be aside with joy like a blameless child
And yet have to contend with idiot acting
That it's hardly even affecting?'

'To see your pictures, your face, your smile
And feel the emotions stack and pile
Only to calmly shrug it off
And be the exact opposite of soft?'

'Knowing that when we do meet again
I'll have no choice but to refrain
From receiving you like a long-missed half
And instead walk away on a separate path'

'Perhaps again our minds would meet
But until that day so bittersweet
A hidden part of me will yearn
For the old you, too, to return