Phew! Basically I've been swamped by work (wish I was deserted by work instead... haha... geddit geddit?!?) and the list of friends that I've been trying to catch up with just keeps growing and growing like a child on Nestle baby formula...
And I'm sad for it! I wish I had more time to catch up with you all, over a coffee or something, but I can't... work's really demanding, and to think I've already turned a hunk like Chris down twice for lunch! (and you too Lucas... the hunk part definitely)
Forgive me for disappearing for the next few weeks at least, I'll still keep in touch ya? To all the people I owe letters, phone calls, photos or Mambo Nite outings to, I'll make it up to you!
Lastly, I've developed an alternative award to Human Being Of The Week... it's the MLOTW award. And this week, to the person who cannot even ask me out nicely, I award Missing Link Of The Week to... Limin!
(She sent me the following sms : Hey you stupid man when are u free to meet me for our dinner and pub outing?)
Monday, June 28, 2004
Doctors & Adverts
Doctors are allowed to advertise, aren't they?
If they could, and I was gutsy enough to put a real picture of a bloody tumour up here, the tag line would read...
What you take ten years to grow, we take ten minutes to remove.
Come on, Ivan. Just admit it, you can't wait to hire me.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
The Crux Of The Wedding Dinner
About a month or two ago, the Straits Times ran an article expounding the demerits of the Chinese Wedding Dinner. Among the common complaints like the dinners starting late, there were some that warranted more reflection, such as the charge that increasingly, wedding dinners were becoming more the glamour show than the personal affair it's supposed to be.
Last night, my second cousin's wedding dinner was different.
It began late, and the run of childhood photos of the couple did not make things better. I felt like I was intruding into their personal life, seeing how the two of them grew up and got together.
Things didn't get better when the couple began to list all their thank-yous and popped champagne. It seemed to me that they were basically thanking this whole long list of faceless people, and with a little sigh I inwardly lamented that this was going to be another forgettable dinner.
Things radically changed when, after thanking both their parents, my second cousin said "Oh, I have one more person to thank!" just as his bride made to leave the podium. I was wondering, eh, who could be more important to warrant a thank-you after the parents were mentioned? And I still didn't get it as helpers rolled in a piano and barstool...
And he led her to the barstool, bathed in a silvery blue spotlight. He took his place at the piano, told us to bear with him, and began a little song for her... thanking her for being with him, thanking her for existing...
While the ballroom looked on in respectful admiration, I felt that hey, finally, here's a wedding dinner that got its priorities right. It isn't about showing off, it isn't about giving your relatives face by inviting them...
It's about making one night completely unforgettable and meaningful for the partner you've found.
Last night, my second cousin's wedding dinner was different.
It began late, and the run of childhood photos of the couple did not make things better. I felt like I was intruding into their personal life, seeing how the two of them grew up and got together.
Things didn't get better when the couple began to list all their thank-yous and popped champagne. It seemed to me that they were basically thanking this whole long list of faceless people, and with a little sigh I inwardly lamented that this was going to be another forgettable dinner.
Things radically changed when, after thanking both their parents, my second cousin said "Oh, I have one more person to thank!" just as his bride made to leave the podium. I was wondering, eh, who could be more important to warrant a thank-you after the parents were mentioned? And I still didn't get it as helpers rolled in a piano and barstool...
And he led her to the barstool, bathed in a silvery blue spotlight. He took his place at the piano, told us to bear with him, and began a little song for her... thanking her for being with him, thanking her for existing...
While the ballroom looked on in respectful admiration, I felt that hey, finally, here's a wedding dinner that got its priorities right. It isn't about showing off, it isn't about giving your relatives face by inviting them...
It's about making one night completely unforgettable and meaningful for the partner you've found.
Happy First Year!
Hey, the two of you... Congratulations on your first year together! It's my fortune entirely to know the both of you individually as great friends, and then together as one of the more sane, mature and stable couples!
A year has passed with an eye's twinkle
And much has been said and done
Congrats on not remaining single
Surely joys aplenty and sadness none
Wish that both of you will remain strong
And conquer trials together
For the journey's pretty tough and long
But I'm sure all storms you two can weather
Happy first year again you two... =)
A year has passed with an eye's twinkle
And much has been said and done
Congrats on not remaining single
Surely joys aplenty and sadness none
Wish that both of you will remain strong
And conquer trials together
For the journey's pretty tough and long
But I'm sure all storms you two can weather
Happy first year again you two... =)
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
A Better Life Elsewhere...
I saw her the other day. Held lovingly in the hands of another.
The memories flooded back, of course. The special moments we've had, our faces pressed together in the private worlds we summoned, braving every frigid nightfall with only each other for company.
Yet there she was, now, with another.
Strange as it was, jealousy and anger hardly managed to muscle out the more harmonious emotions of contentment and peacefulness. I was glad, somewhere within my innermost sanctums, that she was happy, that a spirit as boundless as hers had found a richer shade, a more vibrant tone in the tapestry of life.
But you do know I'll always be there for you, right? =)
(My brother had gone to Lucas' brother's birthday party, and somehow got dunked. His new 3200 suffered collateral damage. Because beggars can't be choosers, my brother had to make do with my old 3310... and seeing the two of them falling inexplicably, uncontrollably in love... has been thoroughly heart-warming... sigh...)
The memories flooded back, of course. The special moments we've had, our faces pressed together in the private worlds we summoned, braving every frigid nightfall with only each other for company.
Yet there she was, now, with another.
Strange as it was, jealousy and anger hardly managed to muscle out the more harmonious emotions of contentment and peacefulness. I was glad, somewhere within my innermost sanctums, that she was happy, that a spirit as boundless as hers had found a richer shade, a more vibrant tone in the tapestry of life.
But you do know I'll always be there for you, right? =)
(My brother had gone to Lucas' brother's birthday party, and somehow got dunked. His new 3200 suffered collateral damage. Because beggars can't be choosers, my brother had to make do with my old 3310... and seeing the two of them falling inexplicably, uncontrollably in love... has been thoroughly heart-warming... sigh...)
Of Trees and Wind
Think about it: a man lives on a little island his whole life, and there is nothing but a lone tree and the relentless sea breeze for company. When the sea breeze blows, he sees the tree sway, and after many, many years, he thinks -
"There is wind because the tree sways!"
It's strange how it doesn't matter how intelligent or wise the above-mentioned guy is. He could be as sharp and intuitive as Limin (my nose! it got longer!) but to him it's perfectly logical and reasonable that the tree's the cause of the breeze...
So don't be so frustrated when someone else cannot understand you, or does something you perceive to be completely illogical or unreasonable. A high EQ alone is still not sufficient for one to wholly empathize with everyone, because it's mere projection - projection of yourself into that person's shoes.
The emotions projection invokes simply cannot match going through something yourself!
"There is wind because the tree sways!"
It's strange how it doesn't matter how intelligent or wise the above-mentioned guy is. He could be as sharp and intuitive as Limin (my nose! it got longer!) but to him it's perfectly logical and reasonable that the tree's the cause of the breeze...
So don't be so frustrated when someone else cannot understand you, or does something you perceive to be completely illogical or unreasonable. A high EQ alone is still not sufficient for one to wholly empathize with everyone, because it's mere projection - projection of yourself into that person's shoes.
The emotions projection invokes simply cannot match going through something yourself!
Monday, June 21, 2004
Eye For A Flower
What if there was a flower that only you could appreciate?
Like if it was plain and unobtrusive and tended to blend in with the millions of other flowers on earth? But then one day you stopped, and spent time appreciating it, and found it to be beautiful in its own right?
Would you proudly grow it, or display it?
Because then it's a choice between conforming with the rest of society and being true to yourself. And you might think, hiyar, of course I'll be true to myself.
But how many really do?
Like if it was plain and unobtrusive and tended to blend in with the millions of other flowers on earth? But then one day you stopped, and spent time appreciating it, and found it to be beautiful in its own right?
Would you proudly grow it, or display it?
Because then it's a choice between conforming with the rest of society and being true to yourself. And you might think, hiyar, of course I'll be true to myself.
But how many really do?
Average Joe Pt II
Aha! I've finally figured out why the stupid show bugged me so much.
Maybe it was ok for the girl to be so confused over who to choose. I mean, both were almost exact opposites of the other in terms of character and appearance, yet both had qualities any girl would desire in a man.
I completely understand if she really did have feelings for both men. Which is why I don't agree with the way she rejected the loser... she told him that they had been getting along well, she was very happy with him, their romance was budding... BEFORE she dropped the bombshell and told him "however, the romance has to end tonight"
To me, she was obviously playing it up for the cameras, at the behest of the producers or not.
And that's sick, because it's one thing to choose between two men, and another to completely discount the feelings of a person you were in love with for the sake of drama.
I've got to stop watching reality shows... bugging me too much! It's time for some... er... WWE. *grunt*
Maybe it was ok for the girl to be so confused over who to choose. I mean, both were almost exact opposites of the other in terms of character and appearance, yet both had qualities any girl would desire in a man.
I completely understand if she really did have feelings for both men. Which is why I don't agree with the way she rejected the loser... she told him that they had been getting along well, she was very happy with him, their romance was budding... BEFORE she dropped the bombshell and told him "however, the romance has to end tonight"
To me, she was obviously playing it up for the cameras, at the behest of the producers or not.
And that's sick, because it's one thing to choose between two men, and another to completely discount the feelings of a person you were in love with for the sake of drama.
I've got to stop watching reality shows... bugging me too much! It's time for some... er... WWE. *grunt*
Friday, June 18, 2004
Average Joe
Just came from watching Average Joe with HBOTW and Jiayun... and man was it a bummer.
The simple, straightforward summary is, the girl chose the good looking guy over the charming guy.
Hey, don't ask me why. The producers obviously had full control over what material to show us, so there's no objective way to judge how good the guys are in real life. I mean, the viewers did get to see the charming one as rich, sociable, sincere, though less than perfect physically. And all they saw of the other guy (who won) was this unaccomplished, struggling student/waiter who had questionable intentions.
Kind of reminded me of the joke where a guy's in a dilemma because he cannot choose between two girls - both are intelligent, accomplished, good-looking. After much deliberation over their relative strengths and weakenesses, he ends up choosing the girl with the more ample bosom...
Maybe our hardwired instincts aren't meant to lead us to long term relationships.
Maybe we are so subconsciously attracted to the good lookers (in the assumption that our offspring will be equally vibrant) that the heart overrules logic, which is vital in the selection of the ideal mate. So then we procreate with the most well-endowed people, and since after the children are born our instincts are sated, we wake up to find ourselves in a mess of a relationship.
Bleah. Average Joe has so put me off that I'm declaring a two day ban on relationship issues on this blog. In the meantime... we'll talk about Proboscis Monkeys and Limin! =)
The simple, straightforward summary is, the girl chose the good looking guy over the charming guy.
Hey, don't ask me why. The producers obviously had full control over what material to show us, so there's no objective way to judge how good the guys are in real life. I mean, the viewers did get to see the charming one as rich, sociable, sincere, though less than perfect physically. And all they saw of the other guy (who won) was this unaccomplished, struggling student/waiter who had questionable intentions.
Kind of reminded me of the joke where a guy's in a dilemma because he cannot choose between two girls - both are intelligent, accomplished, good-looking. After much deliberation over their relative strengths and weakenesses, he ends up choosing the girl with the more ample bosom...
Maybe our hardwired instincts aren't meant to lead us to long term relationships.
Maybe we are so subconsciously attracted to the good lookers (in the assumption that our offspring will be equally vibrant) that the heart overrules logic, which is vital in the selection of the ideal mate. So then we procreate with the most well-endowed people, and since after the children are born our instincts are sated, we wake up to find ourselves in a mess of a relationship.
Bleah. Average Joe has so put me off that I'm declaring a two day ban on relationship issues on this blog. In the meantime... we'll talk about Proboscis Monkeys and Limin! =)
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Third 16th Poem
Where are you now, my love
Long flown away on wings of silver hue
In search of your elusive treasure trove
Have you found what's due to you?
What are you doing now, my dear
To tell you the truth, I haven't a clue
If I spent five minutes talking to a complete stranger
I'll still know him better than I know you
What are you thinking now, my friend
Half a world away, but worlds apart in thought
Could we foresee this when we first began?
Guess it meant nothing, all the battles we've fought
When will you fully return, my acquaintance
Will there be anything to recognize you by?
Will there be proof of our past co-existance?
And if I said there was, would it be a lie?
At least you will always remain a mystery
A riddle to tease my gasping mind
How ever did we both change so completely?
Though I doubt the answer I'll ever find
Man, I so need it to rain now.
Long flown away on wings of silver hue
In search of your elusive treasure trove
Have you found what's due to you?
What are you doing now, my dear
To tell you the truth, I haven't a clue
If I spent five minutes talking to a complete stranger
I'll still know him better than I know you
What are you thinking now, my friend
Half a world away, but worlds apart in thought
Could we foresee this when we first began?
Guess it meant nothing, all the battles we've fought
When will you fully return, my acquaintance
Will there be anything to recognize you by?
Will there be proof of our past co-existance?
And if I said there was, would it be a lie?
At least you will always remain a mystery
A riddle to tease my gasping mind
How ever did we both change so completely?
Though I doubt the answer I'll ever find
Man, I so need it to rain now.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
New Human Being Of The Week !!
Really, I've got to be more conscientious with updating HBOTW.
For this week though, HBOTW goes straight out to... MISS HUMOUNGOUS-BIG-HAIR-WORM-FOOD!! Sigh, I hate to admit it, but when she left the country, things got a lot duller overnight.
I missed all the inane bickerings, all the finger-pointing at who's corrupting society in general. I missed having a close friend to not just catch up with, but to deepen a friendship with, during the various gatherings.
Nah, let's just say that
If the world's a CD compilation
A medley of melodies
Of songs of triumph and jubilation
Of happiness and tragedies
Still alone we could not hear a thing
But the remedy couldn't be nearer
All we need is your presence, so commanding
Because you are the CD player
Welcome back to Singapore Silan!!
For this week though, HBOTW goes straight out to... MISS HUMOUNGOUS-BIG-HAIR-WORM-FOOD!! Sigh, I hate to admit it, but when she left the country, things got a lot duller overnight.
I missed all the inane bickerings, all the finger-pointing at who's corrupting society in general. I missed having a close friend to not just catch up with, but to deepen a friendship with, during the various gatherings.
Nah, let's just say that
If the world's a CD compilation
A medley of melodies
Of songs of triumph and jubilation
Of happiness and tragedies
Still alone we could not hear a thing
But the remedy couldn't be nearer
All we need is your presence, so commanding
Because you are the CD player
Welcome back to Singapore Silan!!
And We Part Again....
Today four of my fellow instructors ORDeed. I remember them first coming and hating it here, because they couldn't adapt to the completely different way of life. I wanted to transfer them out, to make everyone happier, but didn't when a senior instructor advised me against it.
And I'm glad I didn't... when they left today I guess we all bonded. It sucked when they went around shaking hands and thanking people for making their stay memorable. I refused to shake though, and instead stuck my hands in my pockets, declaring that I'm not one for teary goodbyes.
They just laughed, pleading with me to stop being an idiot on their last day, and drop all pretense of machoism (what pretense?). But I really wanted to avoid saying goodbye.
Wouldn't you hate it too? To realize that someone you see almost everyday, someone you talk male chicken with, laugh at dumb jokes with, eat with, survive field camps with, and most regrettably, sinfully take for granted... is about to step out of your life, just like that?
And just when I thought I could avoid feeling all torn up inside, sidestep all the unnecessary heartburn, they saluted me and said thank you...
To steal and modify a line from the serial Blueprints, "Friendship is measured by the size of the hole it leaves behind".
And I'm glad I didn't... when they left today I guess we all bonded. It sucked when they went around shaking hands and thanking people for making their stay memorable. I refused to shake though, and instead stuck my hands in my pockets, declaring that I'm not one for teary goodbyes.
They just laughed, pleading with me to stop being an idiot on their last day, and drop all pretense of machoism (what pretense?). But I really wanted to avoid saying goodbye.
Wouldn't you hate it too? To realize that someone you see almost everyday, someone you talk male chicken with, laugh at dumb jokes with, eat with, survive field camps with, and most regrettably, sinfully take for granted... is about to step out of your life, just like that?
And just when I thought I could avoid feeling all torn up inside, sidestep all the unnecessary heartburn, they saluted me and said thank you...
To steal and modify a line from the serial Blueprints, "Friendship is measured by the size of the hole it leaves behind".
Monday, June 14, 2004
Jane Eyre
My family relates to domestic help in a very business-like way. Even though we have employed quite a number of maids over the years, the truth is, I've never been close to any of them.
Part of it is the commuication barrier, but I think another is because of the way we treat them. Not that we mistreat them, but just that we never make the effort to get to know them on a personal level.
The result?
Having someone close to your age, who's intelligent, lives in the same house as you, but who is ultimately a stranger to you.
It struck me the other day, when my Aunty Yati talked on the phone to her sister, how animated she suddenly became! How her voice was suddenly inflected with tones I've never heard from her, how completely spirited a character she suddenly assumed!
I could go on and on, but suffice to say that I paid a little more attention and realized just how lively and well-rounded a person she is. It made me feel really guilty for never trying to get to know her before, and the following line, from the book Jane Eyre, is a fitting rebuke to myself.
"Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!"
Part of it is the commuication barrier, but I think another is because of the way we treat them. Not that we mistreat them, but just that we never make the effort to get to know them on a personal level.
The result?
Having someone close to your age, who's intelligent, lives in the same house as you, but who is ultimately a stranger to you.
It struck me the other day, when my Aunty Yati talked on the phone to her sister, how animated she suddenly became! How her voice was suddenly inflected with tones I've never heard from her, how completely spirited a character she suddenly assumed!
I could go on and on, but suffice to say that I paid a little more attention and realized just how lively and well-rounded a person she is. It made me feel really guilty for never trying to get to know her before, and the following line, from the book Jane Eyre, is a fitting rebuke to myself.
"Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!"
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Captain's Ball & Scraped Knees
It was the only game they allowed us to play, for one whole term in Primary School. We didn't mind, of course, any game would do as long as we got a chance to escape the stuffy confines of the classrooms.
I particularly liked it, and would be one of the most enthusiastic players in the class. Always the first to change up. Always the first to prepare the court. Always the first to get injured.
There was once though, that I hurt myself worse than usual. Scraped my knees so bad I could swear I could see bone. Before I knew it I was bundled off to the side, and had them so thoroughly wrapped up I couldn't bend my knees anymore!
It hurt, a lot, but it was the last PE lesson of the term. When the pain subsided after a while, I wanted to rejoin the game, simply because it was my last chance to! But I thought about how my knees stung, and about how I didn't want to risk hurting myself again, and as the doubts sprouted like a poisoned flower I slowly put back the bandage I was beginning to unwrap.
And so I sat out the last PE lesson of the term while my favourite game played on. But maybe I shouldn't have, because time heals all wounds, and all the pain in the world at that moment cannot surpass all the regret I harbour now.
I particularly liked it, and would be one of the most enthusiastic players in the class. Always the first to change up. Always the first to prepare the court. Always the first to get injured.
There was once though, that I hurt myself worse than usual. Scraped my knees so bad I could swear I could see bone. Before I knew it I was bundled off to the side, and had them so thoroughly wrapped up I couldn't bend my knees anymore!
It hurt, a lot, but it was the last PE lesson of the term. When the pain subsided after a while, I wanted to rejoin the game, simply because it was my last chance to! But I thought about how my knees stung, and about how I didn't want to risk hurting myself again, and as the doubts sprouted like a poisoned flower I slowly put back the bandage I was beginning to unwrap.
And so I sat out the last PE lesson of the term while my favourite game played on. But maybe I shouldn't have, because time heals all wounds, and all the pain in the world at that moment cannot surpass all the regret I harbour now.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Total Eclipse Of The Heart
She wasn't supposed to be back till two months later, but last night she returned. Again.
It was on a hill, some unnamed, unconquered piece of virgin land that had no mark of humanity on it at all. Save for the two of us, standing at the very top while the winds rustled our hair and dried our lips. The tall grass swayed to some unheard, secret melody that only they could hear.
The setting sun occupied our full attention. Both of us just soundlessly stood and watched as the flaming sphere slowly slid off the horizon. Then it darkened, rapidly, and before we could react we were awash in inky darkness, with only the very rim of the sun left blazing in the sky.
That blackness closed the distance between us, two lone souls huddling for reassurance. I held her tight as it got colder.
"It's OK, I think it's just some eclipse..."
"Really?"
"Yes, something about Venus I think..."
Not a word more, but volumes more went unsaid. Then, as quickly as the night had descended upon us, it left, evaporating as the final middling rays pierced through. And I saw she had melted along with the night, slowly fading from my arms as the light was restored.
And then she was gone.
It was on a hill, some unnamed, unconquered piece of virgin land that had no mark of humanity on it at all. Save for the two of us, standing at the very top while the winds rustled our hair and dried our lips. The tall grass swayed to some unheard, secret melody that only they could hear.
The setting sun occupied our full attention. Both of us just soundlessly stood and watched as the flaming sphere slowly slid off the horizon. Then it darkened, rapidly, and before we could react we were awash in inky darkness, with only the very rim of the sun left blazing in the sky.
That blackness closed the distance between us, two lone souls huddling for reassurance. I held her tight as it got colder.
"It's OK, I think it's just some eclipse..."
"Really?"
"Yes, something about Venus I think..."
Not a word more, but volumes more went unsaid. Then, as quickly as the night had descended upon us, it left, evaporating as the final middling rays pierced through. And I saw she had melted along with the night, slowly fading from my arms as the light was restored.
And then she was gone.
A Father's Love
It's been a pretty long time since I've read something and teared. Especially in the papers today, where the mishaps of life are so thoroughly documented that desensitization to tragedies happens to virtually everyone.
But something resonated when I read about little Satomi-chan, the girl who was murdered by her classmate. About her father translating his grief into a letter. The following words triggered something off in me, and I can only say that sometimes this world can be pretty cruel.
"Sat-chan. I'm sorry. You don't have to do any chores.
It's OK to play. Go on and play.
Eat as much candy and ice cream as you want."
But something resonated when I read about little Satomi-chan, the girl who was murdered by her classmate. About her father translating his grief into a letter. The following words triggered something off in me, and I can only say that sometimes this world can be pretty cruel.
"Sat-chan. I'm sorry. You don't have to do any chores.
It's OK to play. Go on and play.
Eat as much candy and ice cream as you want."
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Of Durians And Branding
It stood out almost immediately.
The smallest seed in the pod. The most pale. The most shrunken. Nestled in between a row of the juiciest, most-inviting durian seeds that would have made many a Fear Factor champion gag.
"What? I paid for a D-24 durian and I get this?"
Quickly eviscerated and disposed of, the little seed soon slipped from the consciousness of everyone gathered around the durians. Except mine.
I mean, what if it tasted good? Did anyone even try it? What if the fruit was allowed to grow a while longer - would that little seed blossom into a much larger one? Did it have any qualities the other seeds lacked? Was it special, not for being a D-24 seed, but for simply being itself?
What if it was in another unbranded durian? Would it have been enjoyed thoroughly, without anyone even saying anything about it?
Branding did injustice to that seed. Imagine what it does to people.
The smallest seed in the pod. The most pale. The most shrunken. Nestled in between a row of the juiciest, most-inviting durian seeds that would have made many a Fear Factor champion gag.
"What? I paid for a D-24 durian and I get this?"
Quickly eviscerated and disposed of, the little seed soon slipped from the consciousness of everyone gathered around the durians. Except mine.
I mean, what if it tasted good? Did anyone even try it? What if the fruit was allowed to grow a while longer - would that little seed blossom into a much larger one? Did it have any qualities the other seeds lacked? Was it special, not for being a D-24 seed, but for simply being itself?
What if it was in another unbranded durian? Would it have been enjoyed thoroughly, without anyone even saying anything about it?
Branding did injustice to that seed. Imagine what it does to people.
20 And Counting....
There were never so many people contending to become Human Being of The Week before.
I mean, last I knew Lucy Liu was winning hands down, then she lost to a primate, and then yesterday, there was a grand total of 20 people up for the award!
So thank you Kevin, Jiayun, Ziying, Siao Charn, Hao Yun, Si Lan, Nora, Ben, Limin, Charlotte, Shinmin, Kezheng, William, Wenzheng, Zhihao, Desmond, Weiqi, LTA Look, LTA Wong and 2LT Boo...
Let's just say you gave me strength to continue being the person I want to be. Your presence reminded me that somehow, everything I've been doing so far's been worth it. A good friend told me once that she pushes on in life simply because her friends believe in her, and if her friends can trust in her capability so much, she should persevere and make her dreams come true.
I'm glad I know exactly how she felt now. Thank you all again for making this year so special.
(BTW, the Human Being of the Week eventually went to... me.)
I mean, last I knew Lucy Liu was winning hands down, then she lost to a primate, and then yesterday, there was a grand total of 20 people up for the award!
So thank you Kevin, Jiayun, Ziying, Siao Charn, Hao Yun, Si Lan, Nora, Ben, Limin, Charlotte, Shinmin, Kezheng, William, Wenzheng, Zhihao, Desmond, Weiqi, LTA Look, LTA Wong and 2LT Boo...
Let's just say you gave me strength to continue being the person I want to be. Your presence reminded me that somehow, everything I've been doing so far's been worth it. A good friend told me once that she pushes on in life simply because her friends believe in her, and if her friends can trust in her capability so much, she should persevere and make her dreams come true.
I'm glad I know exactly how she felt now. Thank you all again for making this year so special.
(BTW, the Human Being of the Week eventually went to... me.)
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Soccer...
It occurred to me of late that it's very difficult to integrate into mainstream male society without expressing at least a silver of interest in soccer. I thought that if one was adamant enough about personal beliefs (ie. I think soccer's dumb) I could get by. If I was right I wouldn't be writing this, now, would I?
So I set about gaining a basic understanding of soccer, to lie credibly enough to make people think I love soccer. Bah, say what you want about giving in to peer pressure and all, I prefer to think of it as broadening my horizons. =)
Thus I had the following conversation with a friend over a soccer match, and by the end of it I had gained enough knowledge to seem hip.
Me: (as the match kicks off) So, how do you know who to support?
Friend: Well, you choose a team, love it, follow it.
M: (it's Man U Vs. Arsenal... I think) Fine. I choose Sembawang United.
F: Huh? Wa? (shakes head) Man, no, that aint hip.
M: Whatever. So it's more important to choose a cool team?
F: Not... exactly.
M: But basically yes right? So that it's more exciting when the big boys clash?
F: ... something like that.
M: (pause) So then, when do we cheer?
F: (weird look) When your team's winning, man.
M: But how do you tell when your team's winning?
F: Err... the ball's closer to the other team's goalpost?
M: Ok, but wouldn't it be easier to watch other people, and just cheer when they do?
F: (sighs) Yes, I guess you can.
M: (after careful observation) Besides cheering we curse the referee too right?
F: (distracted) Huh? No, we don't do it on purpose, but ya, mostly...
M: Hmm. (another pause) Why don't they have multi-ball? Like, spice it up?
F: What? (disgusted look) Man,that's dumb. Soccer's about skill man.
M: (just as Man U scores) So I cheer now?
F: What the hell? Did you see that? That's a foul!
M: Hmm. I'm sure that although instant replays and experienced referees on the ground couldn't perceive that foul, you could, by being a million miles away and judging from a lousy live feed.
F: Yeah man, Man U SUCKS!!!
Another friend: Yeah, go ARSENAL!!!
M: So why do you get so happy when your team wins? You had no part at all in their victory, but you cheer as if you helped them when they don't even know you exist. They earn tons off your back, and furthermore you let your own emotional cycles be ruled so completely by them?
F: Man U sucks!
AF: Arsenal rules!! Woo hoo!
M: Thank you for your time.
Sigh.
So I set about gaining a basic understanding of soccer, to lie credibly enough to make people think I love soccer. Bah, say what you want about giving in to peer pressure and all, I prefer to think of it as broadening my horizons. =)
Thus I had the following conversation with a friend over a soccer match, and by the end of it I had gained enough knowledge to seem hip.
Me: (as the match kicks off) So, how do you know who to support?
Friend: Well, you choose a team, love it, follow it.
M: (it's Man U Vs. Arsenal... I think) Fine. I choose Sembawang United.
F: Huh? Wa? (shakes head) Man, no, that aint hip.
M: Whatever. So it's more important to choose a cool team?
F: Not... exactly.
M: But basically yes right? So that it's more exciting when the big boys clash?
F: ... something like that.
M: (pause) So then, when do we cheer?
F: (weird look) When your team's winning, man.
M: But how do you tell when your team's winning?
F: Err... the ball's closer to the other team's goalpost?
M: Ok, but wouldn't it be easier to watch other people, and just cheer when they do?
F: (sighs) Yes, I guess you can.
M: (after careful observation) Besides cheering we curse the referee too right?
F: (distracted) Huh? No, we don't do it on purpose, but ya, mostly...
M: Hmm. (another pause) Why don't they have multi-ball? Like, spice it up?
F: What? (disgusted look) Man,that's dumb. Soccer's about skill man.
M: (just as Man U scores) So I cheer now?
F: What the hell? Did you see that? That's a foul!
M: Hmm. I'm sure that although instant replays and experienced referees on the ground couldn't perceive that foul, you could, by being a million miles away and judging from a lousy live feed.
F: Yeah man, Man U SUCKS!!!
Another friend: Yeah, go ARSENAL!!!
M: So why do you get so happy when your team wins? You had no part at all in their victory, but you cheer as if you helped them when they don't even know you exist. They earn tons off your back, and furthermore you let your own emotional cycles be ruled so completely by them?
F: Man U sucks!
AF: Arsenal rules!! Woo hoo!
M: Thank you for your time.
Sigh.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
With Love Comes Distance?
Kings, in fairy tales, do it.
They lock their cursed daughters away in metaphorical towers, shielding them until the time is ripe. Even though they themselves yearn to hold and cherish their daughters as the years chip away at the precious time they have left. They endure the suffering in the knowledge is is for the better.
Soldiers, in wartime, do it.
They pay no heed to lovers, families who beg them to stay and forsake the wars. They leave for frontiers distant and alien, to fight meaningless wars, to shed blood selflessly. They endure the seperation in the knowledge that it is the only way to give their close ones a stab at peace, a chance at survival.
Closer to ordinary life, parents also do it.
They grit their teeth and punish their children when the young and inexperienced need it. Even though their hearts bleed when their children scream "I hate you!" in defiance. They endure the thankless rigors of parenthood in the knowledge that their progeny will make better people one day.
I did it too!
I wrapped my 6610 in a plastic cover. I can't delight in its soft texture playing upon my fingertips, can't feel it close to me anymore, but perhaps this way it might live to see the sun chase the moon a few more times.
Strange how sometimes in order to love someone, you have to allow distance to grow between you and them.
They lock their cursed daughters away in metaphorical towers, shielding them until the time is ripe. Even though they themselves yearn to hold and cherish their daughters as the years chip away at the precious time they have left. They endure the suffering in the knowledge is is for the better.
Soldiers, in wartime, do it.
They pay no heed to lovers, families who beg them to stay and forsake the wars. They leave for frontiers distant and alien, to fight meaningless wars, to shed blood selflessly. They endure the seperation in the knowledge that it is the only way to give their close ones a stab at peace, a chance at survival.
Closer to ordinary life, parents also do it.
They grit their teeth and punish their children when the young and inexperienced need it. Even though their hearts bleed when their children scream "I hate you!" in defiance. They endure the thankless rigors of parenthood in the knowledge that their progeny will make better people one day.
I did it too!
I wrapped my 6610 in a plastic cover. I can't delight in its soft texture playing upon my fingertips, can't feel it close to me anymore, but perhaps this way it might live to see the sun chase the moon a few more times.
Strange how sometimes in order to love someone, you have to allow distance to grow between you and them.
Out With The Old...
She hardly resisted as I ripped the life out of her. I pried her open, laid her bare, took what was most precious away. At the end of it she was too weak to mew, and like a tortured kitten she cowered in the corner. Silenced by the brutality of an unacknowledging ex-lover.
I thought I had steeled myself against her, but in my dreams she came. And she spoke,
When I first saw you I thought
You would be wise enough to see
That though throughout this life change is fraught
From such considerations we could be free
For if we harboured deep down in our souls
A passion and love so strong
We would overcome all obstacles life could pose
And prove all the skeptics wrong
I'm sorry, dear. I wish I could disabuse you of the pain I've caused, and go back to where we were... but I cannot. For he who denies change against the heavy hand of Time, only invites atrophy.
Forgive me.
(Err... I'm just feeling guilty because I traded in my 3310 for a 6610. Trust me, I was shamed to the roots as I took my SIM card out of her. I had dropped her before, misplaced her before, soaked her before... but she never looked as subdued as when I turned her off for the last time.
Sigh.)
I thought I had steeled myself against her, but in my dreams she came. And she spoke,
When I first saw you I thought
You would be wise enough to see
That though throughout this life change is fraught
From such considerations we could be free
For if we harboured deep down in our souls
A passion and love so strong
We would overcome all obstacles life could pose
And prove all the skeptics wrong
I'm sorry, dear. I wish I could disabuse you of the pain I've caused, and go back to where we were... but I cannot. For he who denies change against the heavy hand of Time, only invites atrophy.
Forgive me.
(Err... I'm just feeling guilty because I traded in my 3310 for a 6610. Trust me, I was shamed to the roots as I took my SIM card out of her. I had dropped her before, misplaced her before, soaked her before... but she never looked as subdued as when I turned her off for the last time.
Sigh.)
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Is It So Hard To Compliment?
So what happened was this. I met up with this friend on Vesak Day, and quite frankly, she was stunning. Really, really chio. Not that she's not gorgeous usually, but you know, even the sun flares up once in a while and becomes even hotter.
And of course I told her quite frankly what I thought of her! How I thought she was well dressed, how she was carrying herself with an air others can only wish for, how chio she was.
But she flat out thought I was lying! And she accused me of playing tricks with words and saying things I did not mean.
Sigh.
Maybe that's why you hardly hear people sincerely complimenting these days. Because too much of a good thing reeks of the impossible and untrue, and people tend to disbelieve rather than accept gladly.
Lesson learnt for me I guess.
But I still think you're chio!
And of course I told her quite frankly what I thought of her! How I thought she was well dressed, how she was carrying herself with an air others can only wish for, how chio she was.
But she flat out thought I was lying! And she accused me of playing tricks with words and saying things I did not mean.
Sigh.
Maybe that's why you hardly hear people sincerely complimenting these days. Because too much of a good thing reeks of the impossible and untrue, and people tend to disbelieve rather than accept gladly.
Lesson learnt for me I guess.
But I still think you're chio!
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