Hey you... I'm worried about you. You're really sliding quite fast, and I hate to see that happening to you. I know it's difficult to understand your exact position, and it's not easy for you to share it with people when you think it will not help, but you've got to recognize that you can indeed help yourself!
It's true, if you wanted to reduce this world to its bare elements you would probably find people to be selfish and individualistic, and that there's hardly any meaning in remaining chaste in thought and selfless in action. But remember that all it takes is for a group of people, believing in the same ideals, the same caring world, to come together to create a haven of their own, amidst a world too finely balanced between the desire to survive and the desire to assist!
I wrote the following for myself a while back when I was having colonel (ie. more serious than major) problems of my own, and it was very easy for me to make the whole poem extremely cynical, hopeless and dismal. But I didn't, and I would like to think that the little allowance I made for myself to recover and become nice and idealistic again made a difference!
I'll like to dedicate this poem to you, KL, though I think you might have read it before. You can go ahead and retreat into yourself, just remember that when you finally recover, we'll be waiting on the outside ya?
Oh Father in heaven hear my prayer
For without your guidance I am doomed to failure
Grant me strength to see me through
All present storms and those that ensue
In this urgent time of need
Please, my little prayer you must heed
Blind my eyes to all bad memories
I won't be complete but I won't miss the cavities
I refuse the baggage, the weight
I'd rather grow slower than stagnate
For what use are ghosts of the past
When even the good memories don't last?
Remove my sensitivity!
It's more a curse than a necessity
Consideration for others holds me back
It's strength I desire, hardness I lack
No longer can I suffer for others' sake
From this self-inflicted sadness I must awake
Will you suppress my conscience?
It's a hindrance, in this world without lenience
I simply cannot move as fast as my peers
Who climb so fast without any fears
To look forward thinking only of me
The horizon's further than I can see
But...
But most of all, for my relief
Please restore my belief
Make me see that people are worth trusting
Make me see that love is worth giving
Even if I may be hurt again
Give me faith that will not wane
Amen
Be strong, but in the process don't become hard. =)
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1 comment:
hmm i like this post. it's very... inspirational. just a thought about what you wrote about having a group of people "come together to create a haven of their own, amidst a world too finely balanced between the desire to survive and the desire to assist." i think it's awesome to have a group of peers/friends/buddies, whatever you call it, to support and encourage each other throughout life. after all, friends are there to build each other up and to share all moments joyful and sorrowful. i would be hesitant, though, to indulge in that 'haven' all too often because more often than not, we fallible human beings are prone to becoming dependent on other earthly beings for assistance, instead of relying on faith in God and self-encouragement and ability. ultimately, if that 'haven' ceases to exist, would the person be able to stand on his/her own two feet? just some food for thought.
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