Evolution

In primary school, I once came back from school in tears. My mum, on seeing a little eight year-old me sniffling away broken hearted, scooped me up in her arms protectively. Only after much consoling did I blurt out my miseries.

"Mum, the girls in school today said I was ugly..."

"Nonsense! You read the story of the ugly duckling, right? You're like that, you'll grow up to be, err... to be... a most fine duck!" Honesty has always ranked above tact in my mum's list of virtues.

In fact, when you think about it, being physically imperfect is a most important evolutionary stimulus. As an insightful friend pointed out, the less you can rely on your looks, the more you have to develop other social traits to, well, remain in the human gene pool.

Think of it this way. Let's say everyone is a swimmer in the human gene pool, and success is determined by how many people of the opposite sex want to swim near you. Then of course the good lookers are advantaged, because physical attraction is nothing to be scoffed at.

But other swimmers soon learn how to play the game their own way. In order to survive in the pool, they are forced to develop attractive skills like, to extend the metaphor, being able to perform synchronized swimming, or being able to hold their breath underwater for hours.

In short, you start relying on your personality to make yourself heard. And when that happens, you stop doing stupid things like peeing in the metaphorical pool.

It is no coincidence, mind you, that the most charming or colourful people you know are also not exactly the Brads or Daphnes of the world. I'll stick my neck out to slaughter another stereotype, and say that most of the angelic lookers might not necessarily have the depth of a Pringles can. Think Paris Hilton.

Of course, a theory can always be carried too far. I think if I tried going to school with a paper bag over my head, and tried to make friends on the strength of my personality, I'll soon make the acquaintance of the NUS security staff.

If a fine duck I must be, then a bubbly-funny-caring-sociable-trusting duck I will be.

No wait, that sounded wrong.