Anger Management 1: The Two Types

Very broadly speaking, you have the Explosives, and the Implosives.

In a nutshell, the Explosives are the people who are quick to display their anger. It's not that they have particularly bad tempers, it's just that when they do, they'll have you know about it in a jiffy. Their demeanour visibly darkens, they start to rant or cry or cuss, WWIII breaks out.

The Explosives are the ones you see overreacting when people cut queues, or when lousy drivers hog the road, or when security guards deny you access to escalators. The large majority of crimes committed on the spur of the moment have their genesis in Explosive people.

But hey, sociologists aren't worrying too much about the Explosives.

In fact, it's the Implosives who are worrisome.

The reasoning's very simple. People mistake Implosives for being easy-going and good-natured, but in truth everything is just getting bottled up. And since every bottle has its limit, when Implosives erupt, no one is prepared for it, and more importantly, no one is prepared for what Implosives can do.

What's worse, Implosives tend to remember things. An Explosive lets it all out and forgets, but Implosives bear it, grin, and add you to their To Kill list. If you think I'm being flippant about it, let me assure you, I'm not. Just remember Columbine High School.

Cue my impromptu quack Anger Mangement course.

What To Do In The Event of....

1. Standing Next To An Explosive Flaring Up

Don't, I emphasize, don't even attempt to take the side of whichever poor fellow is the focus of the tantrum. It's like trying to protect someone being threatened by a gun, by standing in front of the gun. Give in to the Explosive, and seek a better time to give your view on how you would have handled things.

In short, shut up.

2. Standing Next To An Implosive Flaring Up

Run.