The Dark Side

It is imperative that you understand I am completing the rest of this post with a most oppressive burden of guilt upon my shoulders, lest I lose whatever moral authority I may possess.

My little tale of caution opens with an attempt to purchase the latest Harry Potter with a pre-order coupon, a gift from a friend. Imagine my consternation when I was denied a sucessful transaction - the coupon was invalid without its accompanying receipt.

I tried my best to negotiate, of course. The coupon was a gift, I argued, and it was mere oversight which led the exclusion of the receipt along with the gift. No, my friend is uncontactable at the moment... no exceptions? No way at all? Well, ok, I will come back another day with the receipt, thanks.

After treading a dismayed 100m from the bookstore, I was seized by a sudden anger.

My intial disappointment vanished, shoved over with an inexplicable frustration. Who were they to oppose my will with their red-tape and confused lower-level management decisions? Had I come this far only to be turned away? Was I really expected to come back another day, at my expense, cowering like a little boy?

And it was then that this little switch deep inside me, marked 'CAUTION - Dark Side', flipped.

My mind worked furiously as I retraced my steps to the counter. I waited patiently for the particular cashier I had gone to earlier to be done, then approached her. By this time, there was a certain arrogance, a certain audacity to my demeanour.

For the first time in years, I deliberately told a bald-faced lie - I've managed to call my friend, and she has lost her receipt. Could I please use the coupon now? No? But that doesn't make sense! Look, I've got the coupon, is that not proof enough of purchase? You need my name? I'm Simon. Do you need to make another call to your manager?

I fairly understood the predicament she was in. I was perhaps the only customer so far to present such a situation to her, and being inexperienced, she was unable to reconcile both the explicit yet inflexible rules with a determined patron.

Furthermore, with her manager absent, there was simply no precedent or orders for her to act upon. She was thus stranded in unchartered waters, unable to decide whether or not to process the sale.

She hesitated. I took one look at her face, recognized the indecision that lay within, and pounced.

Hey, I said, there might be a way out of this. Just accept the coupon, and I'll give you my particulars in addition to my friend's name and contact details. I'll return first thing tomorrow with my friend, and then we'll sort out the whole thing. Your manager doesn't need to know anything about this too, just scan in the coupon as if you have seen the receipt yourself.

A few more minutes of gentle prodding, and I was outside the store with my Potter in a carrier.

I was sweating, but I was also sure I had maintained a cool, calm and collected tone of voice throughout. My face had also betrayed nothing beyond earnest, honest cooperation, judging from the way she had acquiesced and even thanked me for shopping at their store. I had gotten away with my demands undetected.

Of course, the guilt settled in soon after. At first I resorted to reason - there were other ways of getting my book tonight, including arranging a troublesome exchange between my friend and the store, kicking up a big ugly fuss and demanding to see the manager, or simply not using the coupon. I had merely chosen a course of least resistance and maximum effect.

Still, I'll probably drift off to sleep tonight worrying about the resultant effect of my lying on my karma. Irregardless of any defence I may conjure, the fact remains that I had used my strengths of persuasion and composure to manipulate another human being.

I wonder whether another adult in my position would have done better.