Up In Arms

It's the special kind of lecture that everyone has been part of before. The type of lecture that would have everyone wishing education wasn't compulsory and that they had chosen to be a child labourer instead.

The kind of lecture where the material is dry, the preparation tedious, the tension palpable. The lecturer's firing questions faster than Wei Chin can say something objectionable, and all too often there's an excruciating silence as everyone wonders what the hell is going on.

Then comes the inevitable threat, the one that brings to mind Russell Peters - "If no one volunteers to answer my question, I have no choice but to start picking people. Somebody, somebody, is going to answer."

Pause. Let's talk about the mechanics of this threat.

Why should one feel intimidated by this threat? Why is there this immediate shrinking of the spirit, this cowering of the soul? Don't lie to yourself now, no matter how impervious you think you are to threats, do you not feel this sudden wild panic?

Inspired by Daryl's application of mathematics to uncover the principles of life, let's examine the numbers. If no one volunteers, and he's forced to pick someone, the chances that it will be you is probably 1 in 100. That's 1 percent.

Now, if you cave in to this threat, and volunteer, that probability of it being you shoots up, to roughly, give or take a bit, 100 percent. Not an unsubstantial increase.

At this point you're probably thinking, haha, thank goodness Hanting's not doing a course related to maths. I say, wait, let's go beyond the maths and examine the social repercussions of this revelation.

It is clear that if people volunteered, the lecturer would be happier at the end of the day. Even if he picked you, he wouldn't be so upset at the lack of response that even if you said something that would trigger off a tightening of the entry criteria next year, he wouldn't be mad.

Conversely, if no one volunteered, and he picked you, you better start praying he has children of his own and appreciates the virtues of mercy. When the lecture concludes, you can be sure a reprimand is in store for the entire cohort.

How does one apply this knowledge?

Simple. Everyone, everyone should raise their hands once a question is asked.

Just think about it! The probability of you being picked is now effectively the same as when no one volunteers! Since the chances of you being called out is the same, and there is the added advantage of the lecturer being happy at the end of the day, isn't this a whole lot better?

Never underestimate student power.