Soft Spot, Revisited

Her name is Rei, which in Japanese means gratitude.

Rei's less than a year old, and so you would be forgiven if you couldn't distinguish her from the rest - all young look the same. She's less than a year old, but already she's developing a personality of her own.

Rei's as pretty as other girls of her age are. She loves to play, just as much as the rest. She's innocent, quiet, enquiring, endearing, charming... but I know, Rei will never grow up to be like the rest.

For Rei came into this world slightly different. For the rest of her natural life, Rei will lack the mental quickness her peers enjoy.

I know, because for the past few days I've been trying to troubleshoot and figure out what in blazes in wrong with her. I don't understand how a laptop with superior specs can still end up being laggy and slow, compared to the other brands my friends are using.

For two nights now, I've gone to bed all weary and drained. No matter what settings I try, I just can't seem to fix her. I hate the way I see other laptops doing so well, when I can't help Rei overcome the problems plaguing her.

Strangely, even though I've had to deal with much disappointment and frustration over her condition, I can't seem to get mad at her. At the end of the day, when she quietly powers down and hibernates next to me, I gaze at her... and magically, any anger inside melts away.

Is it a weakness, to lack the capacity to remain upset and angry at some people for a significant amount of time?

My brother and I go way back, almost 17 years now. Throughout the years we've done things to each other that would set any child psychologist on edge, persuade newlyweds to consider sterilization.

He's attacked me whilst I was recovering from an appendectomy, pushed me head-first into a glass table, bit me, lost my CDs, misplaced my handphones, mangled my favourite clothes, driven me up the wall during important exam periods.

I'm no saint though, I admit.

In return, I've guided him, patiently pointed out the error of his ways, indulged his tempers and idiosyncracies, given him as much leeway without spoiling him, and expected nothing more from him than I would of a peer of like age, intelligence and experience.

Yet, for some strange reason, even after he's done the most outrageous things, I can't help but laugh it off and attribute his follies to a temporary condition of childhood and sublime idiocy. I hate to admit it, it goes against all principles of machismo, but I guess a soft spot exists here too.

Yes, my dear... this applies to you too. In more ways then you think.

Ahh... love truly is a most impenetrable and unfathomable thing. Just like Singapore Legal System lectures.