Maggots

It was the Critical Moment. As I slipped into my outing clothing, I counted the seconds going by. Research shows that in almost 90% of all instances of children being enslaved to do household chores, the event which triggers a Call To Duty by parents is when the children are getting dressed to go out. Uncanny, yet true. Hence, the term Critical Moment.

"Hanting! Quick! Come here!" yelled my mother from the backyard. Right on time.

I surveyed this particular rack in the backyard that demanded my attention, and my blood ran cold. We used it to stack old newspapers, and the karang guni man had discovered a motherload of maggots nesting in the topmost rack.

"Ok, you've got to kill the maggots first, then clear the newspapers, then disinfect the entire area." My mother pressed a bottle of insecticide into my hands, then took an appreciable step back. Looking back at the maggots, layers upon layers of the grimy abominations, I knew what I wanted wasn't a can of Shelltox, I needed a flamethrower.

After five minutes of groaning and moaning about how disgusting the entire thing was, and generally complaining without any work getting done, my mother reminded me that I was a fully trained officer, capable of being drafted for war. I paused midway through my griping, and got a hold of myself.

She was right. Shame washed over me. This wasn't how a young, fiery soldier handled a stressful situation. Youths my age had gone through so much more, take for instance the teenage militants in war-torn countries, or the kids who endure endless repeats of Limp Bizkit. I steeled my stomach, grit my teeth, and followed my honed soldierly instincts.

I went to get a pair of gloves.

The truth is, the best way to bring out the machismo in men is to have a large female audience around. When I was younger and had to face down my first cockroach alone, I drowned it in Shelltox, stabbed it with chopsticks, battered it with a wooden ladle, put newspapers over it and jumped on it. In contrast, when a cockroach appeared at Haoyun's place the other day, I calmly picked it up in my hand and flushed it down the loo.

I just didn't see the need to be macho in front of my mum. I mean, you're not going to impress a lady who's seen the worst of you over all the years, right?

Death to all maggots!