Valentine's Day

Yes, yes, I know V-Day's over, but it's never too late for a bit of hindsight, ya?

In the first year of Army I encountered this friend of mine who lamented the entire week before V-Day 2003, that he just had to find a way to get out of camp for the occasion. According to the poor love-afflicted soul, that one day would severely affect the longevity of his relationship, and oh my, how he wailed and moaned every night that week. The officer who wouldn't let us out on V-Day, we dedicated enough cursed effigies to him to rival an entire Barbie Summer Collection.

Fast forward to V-Day 2005.

"Man, I just can't seem to get duty on Monday," he said to me during a catch-up session.

"Monday? Ain't that V-Day?"

"Yeah. I can't find any excuse to stay in camp..."

I admit, I backed away a little bit. Forefront in my mind was the not-too-distant recollection that this was the guy who single-handedly destroyed morale during V-Day 2003. Now that he could get out, he wanted to get guard duty? Mentally unstable people scare me, really.

"No, you see, if I don't have duty, I'll have to plan something to surprise her again, and man oh man, I can't think of anything else anymore!"

That little comment of his led me to quite a significant insight, really. For all the gender equality we're supposed to be having nowadays, most of the burden of organizing such memorable dates still falls on the guys.

I mean, I take my hat (or helmet, considering I haven't ORDed) off for every single girl who put effort into finding a little keepsake, or writing a little note of affection for her guy on V-Day. But I also recognize that there are still way too many ladies out there who expect their guys to be solely responsible for picking the place, the time, the event.

The worst part, the absolute worst part is that most of the time the girls keep mum about what they would like to experience, for the sole purpose of "seeing if he knows what I like or want". Yes, this is a test of sorts, to see if your guy is sensitive enough, but this leads to a most pressing problem. Which guy wants to disappoint his girlfriend with a differently conceived surprise? Which guy wants his girlfriend to compare with other girls later to realise that their night out wasn't exactly the most romantic?

How many man-hours are lost when guys around the globe toss and turn in their beds at night, agonizing over the perfect date? ' What would she like to eat? Will she even eat? Will she find flowers tasteful, or a waste of money? Will she like the Godiva chocs, or refuse them for fear of getting fat? Will she hate me if over a romantic dinner I grasp her hands across the candle-lit table, and instead of saying something touching or memorable I say "Wa lau it's damn dark here?" '

And now if you ask me, I think that officer who kept us in during V-Day 2003 was only trying to help us. Bless his ORDed soul.