Little Alice: A Poem

I wrote this during a meeting which bored me to tears. It's strange how I managed to find an little personal oasis in my head while a hundred idiots chattered around me.

Little Alice was a natural whiner
There was no skill at which she was finer
Her demands were few and far between
But the tantrums she threw were really mean
Her parents gave in most of the time
Often parting ways with many a dime
For her taste for things was sometimes exotic
Sometimes refined and sometimes bimbotic

She had a bikini made from Chinese silk
Would drink nothing at breakfast but pineapple milk
Had sneakers with wheels which glowed at night
Barbie dolls all dressed up in tights
A little submarine which could really float
Models of castles complete with moats
Even a vintage guitar she couldn't play
(Plus a lifetime account with that website Ebay)

But still her parents' hearts filled with dread
And they feared they would go quite mad
Whenever Alice came with that look in her eyes
Which they had long since learnt to recognize
As the start of a new demand, a new request
And again their love for her would be put to the test
"No!" said her father before she could even speak
"I won't give in, and I won't be weak!"

And so Alice pouted and Alice whined
Alice cried till she almost went blind
Yet just as her father nearly gave in again
A plan so evil, so diabolically insane
Bloomed in his mind like a plant on drugs
A plan so simple and free of bugs
For this time it was a pup that Alice demanded
And her dad knew just the dog that couldn't be refunded

Unknown to all her dad was really a warlock
Certainly not the kind you'll laugh at or mock
Because he was powerful, really quite strong
Just a softie at heart, nothing so wrong
And with a swish of his wand he opened a door
A portal from Hell to Singapore
Out stepped a dog drenched in darkness so black
The kind even Osama wouldn't attack

And the hound even gave Alice a reasonable chance
Until Alice asked, "Can this dog dance?"
"And why is it black, wouldn't a brown dog be nice?
This one won't do, this one won't suffice."
Although the hound's anger the parents couldn't dissolve
At least one problem was finally resolved
Of Alice's demands they were no longer afraid
Because the Hell Hound had bit off her head

I've always been inspired by Roald Dahl. =)