Ignorance Is Bliss

Inspiration really does come from the most unexpected of places. Last night, my muse happened to be... an episode of Heroes.

Now, most of the stuff on Heroes (or TV, for that matter) comes perilously close to being cheesy. Themes like believing in yourself, or self-sacrifice for the greater good. It gets painful to watch at times, but then I remind myself, hey there's Claire Bennet, and things get better.

But last night one particular line struck me, and the irony was that it came from a baddie. And the line goes, "I think, there comes a time when a man has to ask himself, whether he wants a Life of Happiness, or a Life of Meaning?"

He went on to explain, that for a LOH a man would live entirely in the present, focusing on the joys in front of him, never thinking about the past or the future. But for a LOM, a man would be "condemned to wallow in the past, and obsess about the future", for it was in such introspection that he would understand his place in life.

And I give up on Nathan Perelli, who could only stare blankly back at the baddie. Heck, two questions were already racing through my mind: Can there ever be a middleground, for how can one say that there is no Meaning within Happiness, or Happiness when Meaning dawns? And, are people naturally predisposed to either path?

While it's very possible for all of us to dabble in both paths at different stages in our lives, I still think people are naturally built to follow one path. It's really got to do with the way you think.

Take friend A. He's always been mature, rational, intelligent, but it's just that he never lets his mind wander. Clouds were but condensed molecules of water, events in life but isolated cause-and-effect incidents, memories but hazy footprints in the sand near the water's edge. When he was alone working at his hobbies, his mind was focused, clear.

Take friend B. She's equally capable of mind, but she sees life differently, thinks about life differently. She dissects characters in movies, questions their motivations, explores the various interpretations of the language used. Long after relationships end, from the ashes of the memories she still pieces together new lessons, an unrelenting archaeologist of the past.

I think like friend B does. I, er, hope that I've been mature and rational and all that too (the last Report Card which said I was mature of thought came in Primary 3. Nothing since then. Sigh), but while I do have a leash on my mind, it's really a stretchable 100m long leash.

My mum detests the way I think about things. She labels my thoughts on life 'peurile worries', and reminds me constantly that the present has so much to offer, so why think about the past and the future? To her mind, there's so little of the world we can control, so you might as well just be happy.

Which parent wouldn't want their children happy? For that matter, who would ever wish their friends to be locked in an endless cycle of truth-searching too, when we all know that some answers cannot be found?

Maybe that's why Meaning, means so much. It's one of those things you discover on your own, contrary to general advice, earned at great cost.