Ang Pao

Tomorrow's Valentine's, and I originally wanted to post on that. But time's not on my side, so I'll do a quickie post instead.

I was reading my homicide cases when I came across this story of a maid who was charged with the murder of her employer. In a splendid example of how my mind went off tangent, I came across the word 'ang pow' in the judgment, and ended up on this page blogging.

I was thinking, actually, about the differences in sizes of ang pows. Not the literal size of the red packet, as I'm sure you understand, but rather the quantity of the sum inside. Yes, I know CNY 2006 has just passed, so think of this as an early CNY 2007 post instead.

There are, to my mind, two kinds of ang pow givers. The first are the Symbolic Ang Pao givers (SAPs), who believe that it's the symbolic action of bestowing the ang pao that's the important bit. Then, there are the Symbolic Yet Generous Ang Pao givers (ANGELs), who believe that while symbolism's good, it's not going to hurt anyone to spread some moolah around.

This of course accounts for the grotesque difference between the ang paos people receive. When I was in Primary Four, I suffered catatonic shock after asking this smarmy classmate how much he received. I mean, I thought my humble collection was plentiful enough, but when I heard of how he collected in excess of $3000, my harvest was humble, very, very humble indeed.

I raged that day. I raged against the system, I raged against tradition, I raged against the government. Of course, as soon as I reached full maturity (Primary Five) I came to understand that the sum wasn't really that important after all. Seriously.

(If you happen to have given me an ang pao within the last six years, please do not misunderstand. I receive every ang pao with nothing less than full-hearted gratitude. However, if you were the one who gave me the ang pao seven years ago with 2 melon seeds inside, be warned, I still have that ang pao, and I will acquire a fingerprints kit one day.)

So why post about ang paos when all internal conflict has been resolved? Because, I am extremely curious as to how the two groups of people, the SAPs and the ANGELs, evolved such distinct behaviour regarding ang pao.

The first conclusion I reached, was that the two groups of people tend to perpetuate their behaviour down the generations. You simply give out ang paos in the same proportion that you used to receive them.

I mean, imagine you're a kid with ANGEL parents, with ANGEL relatives and friends, and you average $300 an ang pao come CNY. Can you really imagine yourself growing up and giving out $2 ang paos? Wouldn't you feel in the least bit like frying in a wok everytime you gave out one of those SAP-py ang paos?

The second conclusion I reached, was that your parents play an even larger role than you think, when it comes to determining whether you become a SAP or an ANGEL. Imagine reaching that stage in life when it's your turn to give ang pao. Imagine buying tons of red packets the week before, drawing lots of crisp new notes, then having no idea at all how much to put into each packet.

I mean, at least that's how it would happen for me. I've observed my parents closely enough - before CNY they move around slowly, drifting like jellyfish, completely oblivious to preparing ang paos. Then, the day before, the hour before, they suddenly turbo-charge into whirling Tasmanian devils, drawing, sorting, sealing ang paos faster than Wenzhao gets As in school.

When the dust settles, they're jellyfish again, albeit contented ones. Never, in all my 21 years, have I deciphered their method to the madness. So that means that eventually I'll have to humbly ask. Grr.

All this being said, no amount of preparation can still blanket the little tingle of shock I feel whenever I discover that someone's ang pao is equivalent to a freaking iPod. I guess I'll content myself with the thought that it's years more before I have to give ang pao myself.

Oh yes. AND. DON'T. GIVE. ME. ANYMORE. MELON. SEEDS. Whoever you are.