Random (Nocturnal) Thoughts

I awaken in the middle of the night.

There is a light drizzle outside, street lamps illuminating the raindrops' shocked expressions as they end their indulgent free fall and gently plink onto the tiles of my roof.

The wind continues her petulant course through my neighbourhood, teasing the leaves on the trees, threatening the hastily affixed election posters with premature retirement. Swish-swish, swish-swish go the things that flap in the night, a chorus that drowns out the crude yappings of the resident dogs.

I am suffused with calmness. I contemplate the happenings of the past day, then the past week, then month, then year, and it all seems surreal. It's almost as if I could turn my head and see Desmond sleeping next to me, in the army a year ago. Or my brother, eight years ago. Or my mother, fourteen years ago.

It's like walking down a street while you're engrossed with talking with your companion, or trying to guess the song on your Shuffle. Then you look up and you're startled by how far you've gone, without realizing how much you've passed by, or where you're going. Life blindsides you that way.

Slowly, a few things come to mind. Regrets converge and attempt to ouster the important thoughts from my focus... But I know I am not perfect, and there are some things that I just could not have done better. There is too much to live for to stop now.

If I could speak to you now, and you would listen, you would agree, right? Let the worries and frustrations fall from you, and tackle problems day by day. You know you can.

The street lamps die, another night is over... another day is dawning.